Are You There Menta with Sprite? It's me...

"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
— Chelsea Handler (My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands)

"Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home."
— Chelsea Handler

"Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family."
— Chelsea Handler (Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea)


""I rolled over and picked up Us Weekly magazine off the floor. The cover had a picture of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I saw staring at the photo, wondering why this little boy looks so pissed off in every picture. At first I thought he was just pissed about his Mohawk, but then I realized he’s probably furious. Maddox must have thought he hit the jackpot when some A-list celebrity rescued him from third-world Cambodia, only to discover that she was going to shuffle him back and for the to EVERY other third-world country in the universe. He’s probably like, “When the fuck are we gonna get to Malibu, bitch?”
— Chelsea Handler


"I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people."
— Chelsea Handler

It'll all work out.

Click here.

Smells Like Miss Dior Cherie L'eau Spirit

Should this be my fragrance for the summer?

1, 2, 3, 4....

loaded

Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers. The round
pegs in the square holes - the
ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules and
they have no respect for
the status quo. You can praise
them, disagree with them,
quote them, disbelieve them,
glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing that you
can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.

Jack Kerouac

In the Mood for Cinema

au•teur

-n. [ō-tûr', ō-tœr']

the creative visionary behind a film.

the•au•teurs

-n. [thē ō-tûrs', thē ō-tœrs']

1. an online movie theater where
you watch, discover, and discuss
auteur cinema.

2. a new social experience.

The End of Television as We Know It

From the creative end, developing a television show these days is sort of like giving birth to a daughter, your work, a daughter that you raise and nurture with tremendous care, and then one day you bring her, beautiful, statuesque, perfect in your eyes, to the church to walk her down the aisle, where a dashing groom, the American television viewership, is waiting to embrace her on the other end of the aisle. But just before the organist plays that "Here Comes the Bride" song so she can begin her walk down the aisle, out pops a herd of groomsmen, television executives, who proceed to throw your daughter down and violently gang-bang her in the back of the church, and by the time they're done with her she's bloody, beaten, and battered, almost completely unrecognizable to you, the person who raised her. Both of her eyes are swollen completely shut, one of her legs is broken, she can barely function at all, and then the very groomsmen, the television executives, who just finished violently raping her turn to you and say, "Okay, now make her walk down the aisle," and you, the person who conceived her, nurtured her and cared for her for all those years, has to walk with her as she hopelessly flounders her way down, and all the while you're hoping beyond hope that she a) makes it all the way down before completely collapsing and b) that her groom, the American television viewer, isn't so freaked out by her when he sees how hideous she now looks that he turns and bolts out of the church.

(link behind the pic)

strike a pose

From today's FaceBook blog release:

Every month, more than 850 million photos are uploaded on Facebook—making it the largest photo-sharing site. With photos being so popular, we're constantly working to improve your experience in sharing them. We noticed that many of you wanted to create larger photo albums to display all the images from a trip or event in one place. So we've now expanded the number of photos an album can hold from 60 to 200.

Run fast, fast, faster to your digital/web/phone cameras and take a lot of self-portrait pictures. The first one to have at least 3 albums, "Me", "Me (part 1)", "Me (part 2)", with 200 pictures each will win...Honestly, no idea. First, I am sure I will (am) have someone from my facebook friends accomplishing this task. Second, that's sad (or could be very sexy depending on who is on those 600 self-portraits)

My Life is a G(r)eek Tragedy 2008-2009

I don't need to write something more. This article sums it up exactly.

Rest in Rice: My Poor, Dead iPhone (2008 to 2009)

Here are some of the best suggestions what can one do with a dead iPhone:
1. Target practice
2. Replacement puck for air hockey table
3. Network w/ other dead iPhone owners and build replica of Apple HQ in Cuppertino
4. Use shiny surface to blind owner of working iPhone & swap after ‘accidentally’ bumping into them and dropping your phones
5. Put on “Apple History” shelf next to your original, non-working Apple II GS, Macintosh, Macbook and Newton
6. Use a really cruel gag gift in next office “Secret Santa”

...a bit of self-irony:


...a bit of friends' consolidation:

"И квооо, малката кучка на Steve Jobbs се гътна най-накрая, а?"

the end of the iFone era

;-(

such as

drift in time

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

— Kurt Vonnegut, “Sirens of Titan”

why so serious

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.
I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

— Kurt Vonnegut

Never Give a Sucker a Happy Ending

A very objective article on NY times about House MD season finale: here

I did my desk research and below is the video mentioned in the article.



And you are calling Me TV-show obsessed....

What Women Want

Seth: He's got good abs. Women like abs. I got a six-pack myself. I know.

Summer: Cohen, those are your ribs.
Seth: Oh, Mother Chucker

a male horse name* music

I could hold your beautiful hands
And kiss your beautiful eyelids
Throw open your beautiful doors
And phone your beautiful friends

But it’s all over.


*вихрогон

Finale Fever

This year, season finales were nothing outstanding or shocking. The SNL one was kind of sweet, though, with all the cast singing.

“Goodbye Saigon” will be in your head FOREVER ….FOREVER ….FOREVER

You know me...they got me with the singing part and Amy's surprise appearance.



Only Tina Fey was missing...



And she was the one who said it best:

Liz: We sure had quite a year.
Jack: What are you talking about? It's May.

M is for Biatch

My beloved Marple has been very creative this past month(s) for which I am extremely proud. Way to go girl! Show them (me) how it is done!

P.S. In the process M, please, do not forget to write your thesis. (just teasing you)

let it roll

three times for your tears to go by

Berlin Du Bist So Wunderbar

party like nobody

Did you take the time?

I know it is cheezy. I just love the charachter of Cristina and the way her face changes right before she says: "I am gonna hug you", is just priceless. This season was nothing special, but this scene made it for all episodes and ghosts.

xx

The habits and needs of a little-understood group

You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush.